


you go to my head

by casdoms (moffwithhishead)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anniversary, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, dean is a hopeless romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 23:15:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6259978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moffwithhishead/pseuds/casdoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not that Dean would say he’s a romantic, per se.</p><p>Sure, he likes doing things for Cas that he doesn’t really have to. Sam can make fun of him all he wants but the smile that Cas gets whenever Dean brings him flowers or honey from the farmers market is worth all of that grief and more.</p><p>And yeah, ok, maybe Dean has made Cas breakfast in bed just because he felt like it a time or twelve. Is it a crime to want to eat waffles in bed with his best friend?</p><p>And okay, just because their first kiss was in the rain while they were fighting on a dock, that doesn’t mean anything. It’s not like Dean went to that dock after their fight on purpose, okay? That was just - that was the universe. If the universe wanted there to be some sort of Notebook vibe, who was Dean to argue with it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	you go to my head

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a petty, petty jerk. also these nerds are in love. ew.
> 
> s/o to the songs that were almost included and that almost made me rewrite the entire thing so I could mention every single song in it:  
>  \- "[I Want To Be Loved By You (But Only By You)](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ettajames/iwanttobelovedbyyoubutonlybyyou.html)" by Etta James  
>  \- "[I Hadn't Anyone Till You](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/billieholiday/ihadntanyonetillyou.html)" by Billie Holiday  
>  \- "[You Go To My Head](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/billieholiday/yougotomyhead.html)" by Billie Holiday  
>  \- "[Cheek to Cheek](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/louisarmstrong/cheektocheek.html)" by Louis Armstrong  
>  \- "[All of Me](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/louisarmstrong/allofme.html)" by Louis Armstrong  
>  \- "[Fantastic, That's You](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/louisarmstrong/fantasticthatsyou.html)" by Louis Armstrong  
>  \- "[It's Wonderful](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ellafitzgerald/itswonderful.html)" by Ella Fitzgerald  
>  \- "[From This Moment On](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ellafitzgerald/fromthismomenton.html)" by Ella Fitzgerald  
>  \- "[Love Is Here To Stay](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ellafitzgerald/loveisheretostay.html)" by Ella Fitzgerald

It’s not that Dean would say he’s a romantic, per se.

Sure, he likes doing things for Cas that he doesn’t really  _have_ to. Sam can make fun of him all he wants but the smile that Cas gets whenever Dean brings him flowers or honey from the farmers market is worth all of that grief and more.

And yeah, ok, maybe Dean has made Cas breakfast in bed just because he felt like it a time or twelve. Is it a crime to want to eat waffles in bed with his best friend?

And okay, just because their first kiss was in the rain while they were fighting on a dock, that doesn’t mean anything. It’s not like Dean went to that dock after their fight on purpose, okay? That was just -  _that_ was the universe. If the universe wanted there to be some sort of Notebook vibe, who was Dean to argue with it?

Dean wouldn’t say he’s a romantic, but Dean doesn’t say a lot of things.

He doesn’t say that he has a notebook shoved under the spare tire in the Impala’s trunk that he used to write prayers to Cas in. Because Dean didn’t always know if Cas could hear his prayers and maybe one day, whether it was because Dean finally worked up the nerve to tell Cas or Cas found it after he was dead and gone, he’d finally know all the things Dean was too scared to say out loud.  

He doesn’t say that he’s glad Cas is living in the bunker, that he’s human, that he lets Dean hover. He doesn’t say that he wants Cas to stay with him for the rest of his life. He doesn’t tell Cas that he’s It for Dean, that there’s nobody else in the world he could picture being with.

So Dean likes doing little things for Cas. Maybe it is romantic but that doesn’t mean  _Dean’s_ a romantic. 

“Hey,” Sam interrupts Dean’s reverie with all the grace only a little brother can.

Dean grunts in acknowledgement and goes back to reading the recipe in front of him, trying to remember if they’ve got enough peppers for it. He might have to go to the store soon.

"Ooo, are you making burgers for dinner?” Sam pokes his head over Dean’s shoulder, trying to get a good look at the book.

“Yes,” Dean replies shortly, pulling the book up to his chest. “Aren’t you supposed to be leaving for Jody’s soon?” 

Sam shrugs and takes a bite of his apple as he steps away from Dean, “Jody cancelled. Alex has the chicken pox.” 

Dean turns around suddenly with a glare, trying to ignore the panic flaring up in his chest, “So?! You had the chicken pox as a kid -” He flounders for a minute, “You - who are you to let some little spots get in the way of romance?”

Sam’s wearing that same smug smile he gets whenever Dean gets flustered (he’s been smiling like that more and more lately and Dean wants to punch him in the face). 

“What’s up? I ruin your plans with Cas for tonight...?”

The tips of Dean’s ears turn pink as he squints at Sam, “ ** _No_**. I was just...” 

His brain goes blank.

For 37 years his brain has been going at a non-stop pace and now, the day that he’s trying to do a big romantic dinner for the one-year anniversary of his and Castiel’s first date, it finally shuts up. Awesome.

“Aww,” Sam coos, because he’s an asshole, “That’s great, Dean.” 

“Shut up.” He’s not pouting, really.

Sam’s still grinning and Dean still wants to punch his stupid smug face, “Tell you what - I’ll text Eileen and see if she’s up for hanging out tonight.” 

Ok, he might be a smug asshole but Sammy’s not a bad little brother.

Dean’s shoulders slump and he nods, looking over at the coffee maker, “Yeah.. if that’s, uh...” He brings his free hand up to rub at the back of his neck, “Sounds good.”

Sam slaps him on the shoulder good naturedly and walks out of the kitchen, “Have fun tonight, man. Use protection.”

That makes Dean’s whole face turn as red as the tomato on the counter, “I’M CHANGING THE LOCKS WHILE YOU’RE GONE.”

He takes it back. Sam is the worst.

* * *

When Cas gets home that night from visiting Claire at school, Dean’s waiting for him in the war room in the nicest clothes he owns.

He’s sweating like a pig and he’s a nervous wreck. Cas will love the dinner, Dean knows that, but still – this is a huge deal. A year. A whole fucking year that he’s been with Cas. A whole god damn year where Cas has slept in his bed ( _their_ bed). 365 days of sharing clothes and picking food off of each other’s plates at diners. 365 days of casual touches and not so casual kisses in the library.

365 days of being really fucking happy and Dean’s never been so scared in his life.

“Hey,” Castiel smiles tiredly at him as he comes down the stairs and drops his leather jacket over the railing. He’s wearing one of Dean’s old t-shirts and the ugliest pair of bright purple jeans they found at Good Will. He looks unreasonably attractive.

Castiel pulls him into a quick kiss and smiles when they step back, “You look very nice, Dean.”

“Not lookin’ so bad yourself, stud,” Dean chuckles as he sets his hands on Cas’ hips, some of his nerves settling.

The skin around Cas’ eyes crinkle with his answering smile and holy fuck, Dean’s in love with this nerd.

“Um,” he manages after a moment, ignoring it when he feels Cas’ thumb start stroking over his lower back. “So, I – I have a surprise for you.”

Castiel hums as he drops his hand into Dean’s back pocket, “Oh?”

“Y-“ Dean has to clear his throat before the word will come out, “Yeah.”

He lets Castiel pull him into another kiss before laughing against his lips, “Can I show it to you before you try to drag me off to bed?”

The answering sigh is so put-upon and overdramatic that it makes Dean grin like a moron.

“If you insist,” Castiel says dryly, a small smile on his face.

Dean lets his right hand slide into Cas’ and feels the knots in his chest loosen a little bit when Cas squeezes it, “It’s, uh… Just – close your eyes for a second.”

He doesn’t miss the way Castiel rolls his eyes at that but he lets it go and just starts walking them towards the garage.

His palms are sweating something gross and fierce and he lets Cas go up the stairs in front of him, “We’re almost there… try not to fall on your face and ruin the mood.”

Castiel snorts and holds onto the railing with his free hand, happy to let Dean lead the way.

When they get into the garage, Dean leads them over to the far corner of the massive room. The spiral staircase over here is too narrow and too steep to safely do this blindfolded so Dean just pulls Cas into a kiss for good measure.

Castiel returns the kiss happily, moving both of his hands up to grab onto Dean.

“Mmm,” Dean mumbles into it, “Ok, you gotta…” He laughs a little when Cas doesn’t let him pull away, “Babe, c’mon, I’m trying to do something here.”

“As am I,” is all Cas says in response.

Dean whines when Cas starts kissing down towards his neck, “Cas, just – give me five minutes, okay?”

Something in his tone finally gets him to move away and Dean’s heart flutters when he sees the pout on Cas’ face.

“Believe me stud,” Dean laughs a little breathlessly and runs a hand over Cas’ chest, smoothing out his shirt, “That? We’re gonna continue that. But I spent all day on this, so I’m gonna need you to cool your jets for ten minutes.”

Castiel squints at him, “You said five minutes.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that you’re gonna try and play grab ass when we’re goin’ upstairs,” Dean snarks, not unkindly.

He doesn’t wait for a reply this time and just starts up the small, winding staircase.

He jumps up the last two steps and has just enough time to push open the door and turn on the Christmas lights before Cas joins him.

Dean Winchester is not a romantic… but this? This is pretty damn romantic.

The thing about the bunker is that it’s an odd building. It’s a hell of a lot taller than it looks and it’s out in the middle of nowhere but the view? The view is about as good as it gets in Kansas.

Dean’s got a table set up in the middle of the roof with their burgers already waiting for them. There’s white Christmas lights strung up around the roof and in the bigger flower bushes that Cas has managed to grow up here. There’s a cooler full of his and Cas’ favorite beers next to the table, a space heater and instead of flowers, there’s a bowl of pork rinds serving as the centerpiece.

Cas is silent as he walks further out onto the roof and looks around, his back to Dean.

And Jesus H. Christ, not even fighting Lucifer was this damn nerve-wracking.

He hurries over to the record player and puts on some music to set the mood a little more and watches Cas nervously, “So… what’dya think, Cas?”

In lieu of answering the actual question Castiel asks, “Are these –“

“Those ridiculous expensive burgers you saw in Vegas that we didn’t get to try?” Dean rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly when Cas turns to look at him in awe. “I mean, they’re not the exact thing but uh, it’s… it’s y’know, as close as I could get.”

Castiel doesn’t say anything so Dean just starts talking like an idiot because, well – he is an idiot.

“It’s too much, isn’t it? Shit ok, I’m sorry man, I just thought that, y’know, you were so excited about those stupid fucking five thousand dollar burgers and I mean, I guess it’s good that I didn’t try to fly them out from Vegas, that would’ve been way too much.”

He’s pacing now and see, this, **_this_** is why he isn’t a romantic, because he’s got no middle ground with this stuff, especially when it comes to Cas. It’s zero, sixty, or nothing for Dean and well, fuck him that’s not normal, is it?

“I just wanted to make today like, a good day you know? Because you’ve given up so much Cas and you’ve gone through so much and your compensation prize is supposed to be my sorry ass and man, you deserve way better than that, Cas. You deserve five thousand dollar burgers and somebody who can actually own a cat because fuck, you’ve never asked me for anything and a cat’s not that big of a deal, right? I mean like, ok sure, I can’t breathe around them but that’s fine, I don’t need to breathe really, there’s like medicine and shots for that, right?”

He's so caught up in his own panic that he doesn’t realize Cas isn’t so far away anymore until he feels hands on his shoulders.

“Dean.”

Castiel’s calm, even tone makes him stop in his tracks and look at his best friend even though his heart is still going at a thousand miles a minute.

Castiel is grinning at him and it’s his big, gummy grin that he had the first time they had sex and the first time they went to an amusement park and rode the biggest, most terrifying rollercoaster in the joint.

Dean knows the record player is still going but he’s pretty sure he hears his heart make a record scratching sound at that smile.

“ _Thank you_ ,” Castiel tells him, his voice quieter. “This is… amazing.”

Dean lets out a breath and swallows nervously, trying to calm himself down, “Really? It’s not too much?”

“ _Dean_.” Castiel’s laugh is bright and happy and it makes Dean’s heart skip about seven beats. “No, Dean, it’s not too much. It’s perfect.”

“Oh,” he breathes out dumbly, his palms sweating again, “Okay. Good. Awesome.”

Castiel pulls him into a kiss and Dean lets himself get lost in it for a moment, his heart still going a million miles a minute but for a completely new reason.

When they move away from each other, it’s reluctant on both parts this time and Dean can’t wipe the smile off of his face.

“So… you hungry?”

Castiel laughs, nodding, “Starving.”

* * *

Later when the food’s been eaten and half the beers are gone, Dean agrees to dance.

“ **[Everything I Have Is Yours](https://youtu.be/qeOCBbYFajQ)** ” by Billie Holiday is playing and Cas has his head on Dean’s shoulder and yeah, okay.

Dean Winchester is a romantic. He’s a hopeless fucking sappy ass romantic.

“Happy anniversary, Cas,” he murmurs.

He feels Castiel smile against his neck.

“I love you too, Dean.”

 

 _I would gladly give the sun to you_  
If the sun were only mine  
I would gladly give the earth to you  
And the stars that shine  
Everything that I posses, I offer to you  


_Let my dream of happiness come through_   
_I'll be happy just to spent my life_   
_Waiting at your back end call_   
_Everything I have is yours_   
_My life, my all_

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at [deansmom](deansmom.tumblr.com)


End file.
